Sometimes in skiing, life, business and bike racing things go wrong and you get sucked into mental quicksand. I'll let a great thinker explain it. (It's at 1:14)
In my first post I'll talk about ways to avoid getting yourself stuck or getting out. In the second, I'll talk about what to do when one of your student's is sucked in.
Full disclosure: Managing your emotions and stopping negative thoughts is not easy. It takes self-awareness and discipline. This is what I try to do, sometimes it takes a while to succeed.
Last weekend I was in a race and I really wanted to get on the podium for the first time. This race was one of my best chances to do it. I flew off the start line and into the first turn ahead of the field. Then I got a flat. That ended my race and I was not in a good mental place to race again a few hours later.
I have been in the trees and made a bad turn that turned into a series of bad turns and ended with me crying and having difficulty breathing.
When bad things happen, it's easy to get stuck. Sadly, you can't tell your emotions what to do. But you can try to manage them. The one area of life when I've always been able to avoid mental quicksand is when I'm leading a work project. Luckily, just as in ski teaching the power of transfer works here to.
Fix first
I always tell my teams that when the project isn't going well don't start pointing fingers or trying to figure out what when wrong. Solutions first. My flat needed fixing, so my bike mechanic boyfriend was called into service. I am a good tire changer but having him do it give me time to sulk.
There are things you don't have, don't know and can't control. Dwelling on them is a waste of energy. Put your energy towards things you do have, do know and can do.
Set the clock on whine time
If you are upset, that's OK. Feel free to complain, yell, vent or swear but only for a set amount time and when it's over no more, even if you are still upset. Don't waste your energy talking about "the incident" and if some one asks tell them things happen and you are moving on. When people asked what happened to me in the first race, I told them that flats happen and I was focusing my attention on my next, harder race.
My parents told us to accept it, change it or quit but continuing to complain wasn't an option. (Of course getting Mom to unleash hell on someone is always the fastest solution to any problem)
Refocus
It is hard to let go of disappointment or frustration, but when you are near the top of the mountain and need to get down safely it's time to take a deep breath and refocus. When I'm rattled, I focus on keeping my hands where I can see them and saying out loud (so I don't forget to breathe) "touch, touch touch." I may not be able to do much at first but I can do this one simple thing and more complicated things will follow.
If you feel your focus heading in a negative direction. Stop, take another breath and start again. It may take a few times. When I have had a bad run I always go back and try to tackle it again with a renewed focus. If it was particularly rough, do a few confidence building runs before going back.
Embrace it
When you are ready, look back not to dwell on the negative but to learn from your mistakes and not make them again. It may have been someone's fault or the examiner was unfair but if you don't ever own your mistakes you are doomed to always be at someone or something else's mercy.
And about that second race
I did get on the podium
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