Escaping Mental Quicksand Part 2 - When it's a Student

In part one I talked about how to avoid getting stuck in mental quicksand.  Managing yourself calls for discipline, managing someone else's anxiety requires observation, empathy, trust and coaching. Your goal is to give your students the tools

On the look out
Some people are very aware and open of their issues with fear but many are not. So you need to be looking at their body language, listening to what they say and their expression.

Building Trust
My friend Brian has coached me through a lot of things that scare me. I trust him to know what I can do  even if I think I can't.  We build trust by:

• Showing that we care about our students as individuals
• Knowing their name, wants and skills
• Showing empathy and making sure they and their fear is accepted
• Choosing the right activities and terrain
• Demonstrating credibility

Get to the Why 
You need to know what scares your student in order to give them the right tools to combat it. Are they afraid of speed, pitch, looking silly in front of others? Most people won't know exactly what the barrier is without probing. For example, I have no trouble with sketchy DC traffic but freak out on wooden bridges on a mountain bike trail. I came to realize it was the transition between dirt and bridge that was the scariest part (particularly if the transition was a step up). If I have the right focus for that second, I mostly don't have trouble with the bridge. That's why probing and experimenting to locate the source of their fear can be so powerful. 

Manage the Difficulty Level 

Going from a green to a blue, or any change in difficulty, can be daunting for a fearful skier. The key is to narrow the gap in difficulty by doing more challenging tasks (adding speed, changing turn radius, picking up the tail) then do a every easy task with low expectations on the harder terrain. I learned this from Mermer Blakeslee, author of A Conversation with Fear (Originally published as In the Yikes Zone).

Active Cues and Talking Out Loud
Another great Mermer tool is the use of cues. I've written about this before but a simple word that you use in a rhythm (touch, bend, guide, lengthen) helps promote good movement and keeps the fear at bay. Cues are powerful when they encourage you to be active and not defending against something bad (e.g. sitting back)

Tactics
Sometimes you just gotta side slip. Knowing how to side slip, finding the easy line in the bumps and other tactics help manage fear by giving your students focused on something positive that will also help them successfully navigate difficult terrain. Like cues, tactics help even when you aren't there.

"Not Today"
I took a friend out for her first mountain bike ride and coached her through some small logs and features. When we got to something that was beyond her skills, I got off the bike and said "not today." "Not today" is a promise for the future, "I can't" is a dead end. Self-depreciating is OK. Negative self-talk is something you stop.

Make them move 

Fear manifests itself physically, people tense up when afraid. That tension stops them from flexing and extending. You have got to get them moving and exaggerated movement is needed.

Please contribute your ideas or questions to the comments.